So does anyone know the prerequisite for being a driver in Arizona’s public transportation system? Valley Metro must spend a great deal of time and effort finding their high school dropouts to drive their buses. I mean I’m not knocking high school dropouts, but why do you have to be a complete fuck head while picking me up late from one of your miserably hot, hobo living, shit stained bus stops? I don’t ride the bus but once a month so I don’t know that you hiked up your already ridiculously high fares to fuck the public in the ass yet again. SO, when I ask “Is the fare still $1.25?” all you have to do is say a number or no. You don’t have to look at me through your purple lensed Ray Ban knock-offs and with the shittiest attitude say, “NO $1.75!” and slap your crack pipe holding hand against a midget heighted sign saying “$1.75.” Sorry, but that wasn’t the first thing I looked at while stepping upon your roach rocket and staring in the eyes of the guy who probably killed Miss Daisy!
We are paying you a pricey fare to sit on your 1mph bus and listen to you be rude to every single person that steps on the bus. If you hate your life that much, go to community college, stay at home, or do something that doesn’t involve interacting with human beings on a daily basis. If I want to ask you where the next stop is, fucking answer me, don't act like I just shot your sun drenched Beanie Baby you have sitting on your dashboard. Just because you live at home by yourself and talk to your cats like that, doesn’t mean you can talk to me like that.
HOW TO RIDE VALLEY METRO BUS AND METRO LIGHTRAIL (ValleyMetro.org)
1: PLAN YOUR TRIP
2: Buy Your Fare
3: Enjoy Yourself…..Go Fuck Yourself
-Rev. Atom
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Breeding on Loves Behalf
Duct tape, staples, morals…. All ways to not have a baby like EVERYONE else.
Now lets begin like this. I love kids, I’ve worked with kids, I like to hang out with kids, and I just got a badass new nephew. The new addition to the family is the greatest thing since sliced bread stuck together with Velcro covered in Tang. SO, he is the shit and will be my next climbing partner when the little chap is old enough. Having a kid is not what this is about. This is a question of timing, age, and accidental injection.
For all of you crazy motherfuckers that decide to have a baby at a young age or accidently after not bagging your rig after too many Pink Pussy shots at your local Bang n’ Brew... Am I missing something? Am I not doing something right? Why would you want to bring your spawn into the country’s worst depression since 1930? Wait a few years when you can afford baby formula while simultaneously paying rent on your apartment. The fact is every single person I know has a baby or is literally pregnant at this point in time. I get it! I get the fact that kids are cool and are a life changing experience. But most of the time they happen on accident. How the hell do you get knocked up on accident? Don’t you crazy fuckers do your dirty deed in a safe… and freaky fashion? I just can’t imagine having a child right now, maybe I’m self centered and not ready to be a grown up. Or maybe I’m smart and safe when it comes to getting my “hump on.” When you get wasted and choose to go home with Miss Spredegle or Mr. Sexandtell don’t be an idiot and screw a kid from a “normal” childhood by not even knowing the name of the person you just took home. Have some class. Go to a movie eat something that closer resemble popcorn not pussy.
If you are CHOOSING to have a baby in a committed relationship, then more power to you. However, you’re still fucking crazy! Everyone I know that is pumping out a shit machine is younger than I am or really close to. Help me understand why I should have a kid before I’m ready at the age of… 40? I will have all my shit together, done all my solo projects, and if I happen to survive all those, I’ll have my own little patron of puke. When I’M ready, not pushed into it, and with my head screwed on straight. Until then, I’ll let you know if I fuck up before the ripe old age of 40. I’m finally done speaking on behalf of my brain and will naturally abort this blog. Thanks.
-Rev. Atom
ps a baby is not a handbag or the sexy new hairstyle, it's life. So don't be a d bag.
Now lets begin like this. I love kids, I’ve worked with kids, I like to hang out with kids, and I just got a badass new nephew. The new addition to the family is the greatest thing since sliced bread stuck together with Velcro covered in Tang. SO, he is the shit and will be my next climbing partner when the little chap is old enough. Having a kid is not what this is about. This is a question of timing, age, and accidental injection.
For all of you crazy motherfuckers that decide to have a baby at a young age or accidently after not bagging your rig after too many Pink Pussy shots at your local Bang n’ Brew... Am I missing something? Am I not doing something right? Why would you want to bring your spawn into the country’s worst depression since 1930? Wait a few years when you can afford baby formula while simultaneously paying rent on your apartment. The fact is every single person I know has a baby or is literally pregnant at this point in time. I get it! I get the fact that kids are cool and are a life changing experience. But most of the time they happen on accident. How the hell do you get knocked up on accident? Don’t you crazy fuckers do your dirty deed in a safe… and freaky fashion? I just can’t imagine having a child right now, maybe I’m self centered and not ready to be a grown up. Or maybe I’m smart and safe when it comes to getting my “hump on.” When you get wasted and choose to go home with Miss Spredegle or Mr. Sexandtell don’t be an idiot and screw a kid from a “normal” childhood by not even knowing the name of the person you just took home. Have some class. Go to a movie eat something that closer resemble popcorn not pussy.
If you are CHOOSING to have a baby in a committed relationship, then more power to you. However, you’re still fucking crazy! Everyone I know that is pumping out a shit machine is younger than I am or really close to. Help me understand why I should have a kid before I’m ready at the age of… 40? I will have all my shit together, done all my solo projects, and if I happen to survive all those, I’ll have my own little patron of puke. When I’M ready, not pushed into it, and with my head screwed on straight. Until then, I’ll let you know if I fuck up before the ripe old age of 40. I’m finally done speaking on behalf of my brain and will naturally abort this blog. Thanks.
-Rev. Atom
ps a baby is not a handbag or the sexy new hairstyle, it's life. So don't be a d bag.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Becoming More Socially Acceptable
So some of you have asked me what I do to “work out” to “beef up” or to lose the proverbial “last couple pounds” to either,
A: Look better in the swimsuit that you paid too much money for.
B: Impress the secretly self loathing hottie across the bar from you
C: OR SHIT! To get in some kind of shape to improve your health, see the outdoors, and better your BurgerDonaldsWendyArbys Ass.
First things first, put down the fucking bottle of beer, the glass of Jack and Coke, and the Vodka RedBull!
This workout and food intake is primarily how I eat and workout day to day. I tend to workout at least 5 days a week and eat HEALTHY 6 days a week, usually allowing myself to drink and eat what I like for 1 day to keep the sanity. You will find the more and more you workout, the less and less you will want to even touch the junk food. THEN, you will find that your "junk" food once a week will consist of something like... cheese, something that in reality is not that bad at all but since you eat so well now, something stupid like that will seem to be really bad. REMEMBER that is great to get out or push it hard at the gym, but if you don't eat healthy you are pretty much cancelling out your workout for the day. It has to work together or you won’t see the results you are hoping for. Sure, you will get strong and maybe your cardio will get better, but why not have your body change too if all you have to do is eat well? Seems like a really easy way to be happy with the way you look and feel. Remember that you should enjoy what you eat but also think of it as fuel you are putting into your engine. You put tar in a gas tank, it’s not going to make your car run at top performance. You put only the best in the gas tank, you’re going to get much more horsepower much more performance. I like to call how I eat as "eating clean" fresh, lean, low fat, low cal... only the best "fuel". Sure I slip up and eat crap sometimes, but I also bust my ass to be able to do that. If YOU want to lose weight… its simple, you burn more calories than you eat. YOU LOSE WEIGHT... simple
Men: Remember I love the Mountains
STRETCH FIRST!
Through my entire workout I place Pull-ups wherever I see fit, usually in sets of 10-15. Different hand holds allow for different muscles to be used. I rarely pull with my palms towards me due to it feeling like just a bicep workout. I believe pull ups are one of the most underused core exercises for an overall upper body workout. I do 100 a day, over the span of my workout.
***All workouts are 3 sets of 10 (3/10)- (That’s what I like or 2 sets of 20 (2/20))
Note: Weight doesn’t have to be ridiculously high, just make sure you do all the reps.
Also I like to add more weight after each set.
-Pull Ups - Throughout workout
- Squats 3/10
- Lunges w/ weights 3/10
- Step Ups w/ weights 3/10
- Bicep Curls
- 2 ab workouts 2/20
- Oblique workout 2/20
- Hold a 45lb plate in each hand w/ just fingertips until failure
- Bench or Dumbell Press 3/10
This is a pretty good all body core workout. Calves, Tris, forearms, back, and shoulders are all getting a burn indirectly with this workout. You can do this in any order. In 4-6weeks I switch it up for muscle confusion
Cardio:
-When running on the treadmill always set the incline to at least one.
-When walking on a treadmill I like to set it to the maximum incline.
-Stairmill (my favorite) with my 70-90lb pack I usually go slow and steady but if I have no pack I like to make it burn and get my heart rate up
I generally climb 200 stories in 70 or so minutes
I would start by doing the workout above and 30mins of Cardio a day (eventually moving to an hour a day). You can do cardio before or after the workout above.
I usually gym workouts MWF and TTH I substitute with something fun, mountain biking, slacklining, climbing, any combination, etc. Just nice to get outside into the fresh air.
Now this is just my own personal workout. I do not recommend it to anyone but it is simply how I like to stay in shape. A great book to read and where I get a wealth of knowledge is called “The Abs Diet.” It breaks everything down quite nicely.
Women: Very similar. Read Above in the Dude section to get a good start.
If I were a babe trying to get the attention of a good local deutsch bag I would….
STRETCH FIRST
Start with some light Cardio to get the blood pumping and your heart rate up.
CARDIO- I like to do 30min of cardio each time I visit the gym. You can either do 15min before your workout and 15min after. Or you can do 30 min before OR 30min after.
- Treadmill
- Stair Stepper
- Eliptical
- Walking, Jogging, Running
Pull Ups - You can do as many as you can spaced wherever you would like to put them over the course of your entire workout. A lot of gyms have assisting machines if you can’t pull your ass up the bar. Also, if you bend your legs back and have someone hold them, that works as a good assist in a pull up.
All workouts I do I either do 3 sets of 10 reps or 2 sets of 20 reps.
Use light weights and make sure you do all the reps. Push yourself but you are not trying to get buff and stuff… or maybe you are, but women muscles scare me a bit. You can do the following workout two times in a row each rep with a 30sec rest between each. After the entire workout take a two minute rest and go through the whole thing again.
- Tricep kick backs 3/10
- Lunges w/ weights 3/10
- Step Ups w/ weights 3/10
- Bicep Curls 3/10
- 2 abdominal workouts 2/20
- Oblique workout 2/20
- Calve Raises
- Dumbbell Press 3/10
X2
I usually do gym workouts MWF and TTH I substitute with something fun, hard mountain biking, slacklining, climbing, any combination, etc. Just nice to get outside fresh air.
Food:
Typical Snack foods:
Easy to buy in bulk and bring to work in snack bags.
-Mini Carrots
-Fruit
Strawberries
Bananas
Black/Blue Berries
Oranges
ALL fruit, remember it is a sugar intake
-mini peppers
-100 Calorie packs of anything. Companies have really stepped up in providing 100 cal packs of snacks
Breakfast:
- Oatmeal, unsweetened, unflavored
-some cereals are good but just because they are "flakes or O's" doesn’t mean they are healthy. Flip the box and read the facts
-FAT FREE milks. In eating healthy sometimes you have to sacrifice the flavor or richness for health. no biggie, you’ll get use to it.
-Fruits and Vegetables
-bagels, no loaded with cheese, remember these are a carb(sugar) which is fine but you have to burn it off or it will be stored as fat.
-Eggs, WHITES. All the crap is in the yoke
Lunch:
-Chicken breast
-veggies
-PB sangwich
-Protein shake- You want the most amount of protein with the LOWEST amount of fat, shop around, flip the package.
-Turkey sangwiches
- Hardboiled egg, WHITES. All the crap is in the yoke
Dinner-
-steamed veg
-More chicken (Grilled, NEVER fried)
-Wheat pasta and a healthy sauce
-Make HEALTHY pizzas for something different
- Mix and match get creative.
Sauces, Mayo, Milk
Always get reduced fat and the healthier version.
Like I said it will take getting use to but will taste the same eventually. AND flip to nutritional facts. Just because it says it’s healthy doesn’t mean it is
Breads
Only eat wheat. White bread is nothing. When buying wheat make sure that the first or second ingredient is Wheat. A lot of the times they will get white bread and dye it brown.
Lots O water!
Fuck soda
Fuck energy drinks
I like to use equal or fake sugar in things
Get spray butter, look at the facts, it is 0% everything, very healthy
Spinach- superfood
Beans, Legumes
Avoid high sodium
ALL of this info is what I do. Not saying you should but it is what I do. It works for me and I enjoy it. I never get tired of it and if I do I just tweak it a bit.
-Rev. Atom
A: Look better in the swimsuit that you paid too much money for.
B: Impress the secretly self loathing hottie across the bar from you
C: OR SHIT! To get in some kind of shape to improve your health, see the outdoors, and better your BurgerDonaldsWendyArbys Ass.
First things first, put down the fucking bottle of beer, the glass of Jack and Coke, and the Vodka RedBull!
This workout and food intake is primarily how I eat and workout day to day. I tend to workout at least 5 days a week and eat HEALTHY 6 days a week, usually allowing myself to drink and eat what I like for 1 day to keep the sanity. You will find the more and more you workout, the less and less you will want to even touch the junk food. THEN, you will find that your "junk" food once a week will consist of something like... cheese, something that in reality is not that bad at all but since you eat so well now, something stupid like that will seem to be really bad. REMEMBER that is great to get out or push it hard at the gym, but if you don't eat healthy you are pretty much cancelling out your workout for the day. It has to work together or you won’t see the results you are hoping for. Sure, you will get strong and maybe your cardio will get better, but why not have your body change too if all you have to do is eat well? Seems like a really easy way to be happy with the way you look and feel. Remember that you should enjoy what you eat but also think of it as fuel you are putting into your engine. You put tar in a gas tank, it’s not going to make your car run at top performance. You put only the best in the gas tank, you’re going to get much more horsepower much more performance. I like to call how I eat as "eating clean" fresh, lean, low fat, low cal... only the best "fuel". Sure I slip up and eat crap sometimes, but I also bust my ass to be able to do that. If YOU want to lose weight… its simple, you burn more calories than you eat. YOU LOSE WEIGHT... simple
Men: Remember I love the Mountains
STRETCH FIRST!
Through my entire workout I place Pull-ups wherever I see fit, usually in sets of 10-15. Different hand holds allow for different muscles to be used. I rarely pull with my palms towards me due to it feeling like just a bicep workout. I believe pull ups are one of the most underused core exercises for an overall upper body workout. I do 100 a day, over the span of my workout.
***All workouts are 3 sets of 10 (3/10)- (That’s what I like or 2 sets of 20 (2/20))
Note: Weight doesn’t have to be ridiculously high, just make sure you do all the reps.
Also I like to add more weight after each set.
-Pull Ups - Throughout workout
- Squats 3/10
- Lunges w/ weights 3/10
- Step Ups w/ weights 3/10
- Bicep Curls
- 2 ab workouts 2/20
- Oblique workout 2/20
- Hold a 45lb plate in each hand w/ just fingertips until failure
- Bench or Dumbell Press 3/10
This is a pretty good all body core workout. Calves, Tris, forearms, back, and shoulders are all getting a burn indirectly with this workout. You can do this in any order. In 4-6weeks I switch it up for muscle confusion
Cardio:
-When running on the treadmill always set the incline to at least one.
-When walking on a treadmill I like to set it to the maximum incline.
-Stairmill (my favorite) with my 70-90lb pack I usually go slow and steady but if I have no pack I like to make it burn and get my heart rate up
I generally climb 200 stories in 70 or so minutes
I would start by doing the workout above and 30mins of Cardio a day (eventually moving to an hour a day). You can do cardio before or after the workout above.
I usually gym workouts MWF and TTH I substitute with something fun, mountain biking, slacklining, climbing, any combination, etc. Just nice to get outside into the fresh air.
Now this is just my own personal workout. I do not recommend it to anyone but it is simply how I like to stay in shape. A great book to read and where I get a wealth of knowledge is called “The Abs Diet.” It breaks everything down quite nicely.
Women: Very similar. Read Above in the Dude section to get a good start.
If I were a babe trying to get the attention of a good local deutsch bag I would….
STRETCH FIRST
Start with some light Cardio to get the blood pumping and your heart rate up.
CARDIO- I like to do 30min of cardio each time I visit the gym. You can either do 15min before your workout and 15min after. Or you can do 30 min before OR 30min after.
- Treadmill
- Stair Stepper
- Eliptical
- Walking, Jogging, Running
Pull Ups - You can do as many as you can spaced wherever you would like to put them over the course of your entire workout. A lot of gyms have assisting machines if you can’t pull your ass up the bar. Also, if you bend your legs back and have someone hold them, that works as a good assist in a pull up.
All workouts I do I either do 3 sets of 10 reps or 2 sets of 20 reps.
Use light weights and make sure you do all the reps. Push yourself but you are not trying to get buff and stuff… or maybe you are, but women muscles scare me a bit. You can do the following workout two times in a row each rep with a 30sec rest between each. After the entire workout take a two minute rest and go through the whole thing again.
- Tricep kick backs 3/10
- Lunges w/ weights 3/10
- Step Ups w/ weights 3/10
- Bicep Curls 3/10
- 2 abdominal workouts 2/20
- Oblique workout 2/20
- Calve Raises
- Dumbbell Press 3/10
X2
I usually do gym workouts MWF and TTH I substitute with something fun, hard mountain biking, slacklining, climbing, any combination, etc. Just nice to get outside fresh air.
Food:
Typical Snack foods:
Easy to buy in bulk and bring to work in snack bags.
-Mini Carrots
-Fruit
Strawberries
Bananas
Black/Blue Berries
Oranges
ALL fruit, remember it is a sugar intake
-mini peppers
-100 Calorie packs of anything. Companies have really stepped up in providing 100 cal packs of snacks
Breakfast:
- Oatmeal, unsweetened, unflavored
-some cereals are good but just because they are "flakes or O's" doesn’t mean they are healthy. Flip the box and read the facts
-FAT FREE milks. In eating healthy sometimes you have to sacrifice the flavor or richness for health. no biggie, you’ll get use to it.
-Fruits and Vegetables
-bagels, no loaded with cheese, remember these are a carb(sugar) which is fine but you have to burn it off or it will be stored as fat.
-Eggs, WHITES. All the crap is in the yoke
Lunch:
-Chicken breast
-veggies
-PB sangwich
-Protein shake- You want the most amount of protein with the LOWEST amount of fat, shop around, flip the package.
-Turkey sangwiches
- Hardboiled egg, WHITES. All the crap is in the yoke
Dinner-
-steamed veg
-More chicken (Grilled, NEVER fried)
-Wheat pasta and a healthy sauce
-Make HEALTHY pizzas for something different
- Mix and match get creative.
Sauces, Mayo, Milk
Always get reduced fat and the healthier version.
Like I said it will take getting use to but will taste the same eventually. AND flip to nutritional facts. Just because it says it’s healthy doesn’t mean it is
Breads
Only eat wheat. White bread is nothing. When buying wheat make sure that the first or second ingredient is Wheat. A lot of the times they will get white bread and dye it brown.
Lots O water!
Fuck soda
Fuck energy drinks
I like to use equal or fake sugar in things
Get spray butter, look at the facts, it is 0% everything, very healthy
Spinach- superfood
Beans, Legumes
Avoid high sodium
ALL of this info is what I do. Not saying you should but it is what I do. It works for me and I enjoy it. I never get tired of it and if I do I just tweak it a bit.
-Rev. Atom
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